God was rather occupied and we had to wait a while.

Imagine heaven. What would it look like? How would it smell? I got to find out today without having having to actually become a late-student.

We went, today, to a place called heaven. There were heavenly gates, heavenly hordes dressed in white with halo’s, even the nectar of the gods, which bubbles up at the very place. It turns out, one can easily reach the gates of heaven with the help of local transit. Since there now is a railroad to the airport, a wakeful eye decided to shake up most bus lines, and therefore most buses no longer reach the gates of heaven (it could also have been a space-saving measure. Instead, the airport and surrounding areas are now easier accessible. The gateway to hell, according to some).

As we stood for the mighty towering gates, filled with awe and reverence, a heavenly smell started to reach for us from beyond the gates. God was rather occupied and we had to wait a while. Several fortunate souls were apparently equipped with a card of sorts, and could easily walk in and out.

Though our troupe still incomplete, we were finally given permission to enter from afar (like everything in Finland, heaven is a rather horizontal area, where there is no ‘above’  to speak of – there is only ‘far’). And, as mere mortals do, we moved about in forward motion, one foot carefully placed in front of the next, and thus we made our way to The Entrance.

‘Fazer’  it read above the door.

After this everything went slightly foggy. I remember something about a water tap, a lady, a staircase downwards, people dressed in white, as well as an enormous lady dressed in fitness attire. I remember a make-believe cocoa plant with beans the size of an airbag, something with a floor, a lot of blue, and then there were tubs. Heaps and heaps of the heavenly goods laid about, glistening like emeralds, screaming ‘eat us, eat us!’ -and so we did.

As no-one is permitted to carry out the food of the gods back into the land of the living, we were to consume all we could there and then. And so we did.

After the feeding frenzy, as we made our way up again, a ringing started to fill my ears. We were given the water of inner sanctity (it came straight up out of the ground), something with a moving picture, some sort of heavenly supermarket, and before we knew it we were outside again, in the chin chafing cold of the Finnish spring.

It was over.

It is evening now, and I am still not able to position my whole being upright. My ears are still ringing and the uneasy feeling of the nether regions has only just started to fade a little. On the ground, against the couch, is a blue bag. The living and only proof that we, humble business students, in fact, went to heaven today.